Sunday, June 22, 2008

It's amazing how quickly a nice relaxing Sunday can descend into chaos. The kids were so great today, and I got an amazing nap. We were settling in for the night when Ethan decided to go for a last bike ride. I'll shorten the story and just say the kids down the street, one of whom he plays with quite a lot and just adores, decided to ditch Ethan. So he came home in tears just as Ginny erupted the entire meal she had just eaten. Luckily my clothes took the brunt of it saving my bed. Joanna saw it happen and was kind of scared by it so she decided she needed her blanky for comfort. Unfortunately her blanky was in the washer. So crisis control kicked in. Ginny and I got a quick bath and a change of clothes, Ethan got a lot of hugs, and we got out of Dodge. Thank heavens friends up the street were out chatting. The kids got to play, Ginny got rocked by an expert rocker, and Matt and I got to sit and breathe and laugh for a while. A half hour chat with friends does so much good for the soul. I'd take it over therapy any day.
I worry about Ethan and playing with other kids. He just seems to get picked on a lot. The most common scenario seems to be that he'll play really well with a friend if it's just the two of them, but if another kid comes along all of the sudden the friend turns on Ethan. The really heartbreaking thing is he doesn't seem to really understand what's going on. All he knows is he wants to play with the other kids and it's not working out for him. I guess it comes with the independence he has now. He doesn't have mom constantly watching him now but there aren't any moms there to enforce nice play either.
I never realized that being a mom would involve feeling so much guilt. I feel like every problem or struggle they have is my fault, either indirectly because I haven't prepared them or taught them well enough, or just outright my fault. Like the other night I snuck Joanna's blanky out to wash while she was sleeping. I started the wash and planned on moving it to the dryer when Ginny woke up to eat in the night. Well, a little bit before Ginny got me up I could here Joanna in her bed saying "oh no" and kind of whimpering and searching her bed for her blanky. I lay there for what seemed like an eternity feeling so horrible as she searched and sounded so sad, knowing full well she wouldn't find it and that I couldn't give it to her sopping wet. And even Ginny's throwing up tonight was my fault because I encouraged her to overeat. There's a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders as a mom.

Ethan's been wanting to go fishing like the older boys in the neighborhood so last Friday Matt went and got some hooks and bait for his old rod and took him out back to the stream. Ethan came and went while Matt did most of the work but they ended up catching one. Ethan was really excited and Matt was kind of sad about killing it. He felt better about it though when he had it for breakfast the next morning.

Joanna has been really cute with Ginny. She brings her blankets and toys and decides if Ginny should lay on the bed or sit in her chair. She picks out her outfits and chooses which diaper she'll wear ( they all have different sesame street characters and usually the Elmo diapers win out). The cutest though is when she sings "You are my Sunshine" to her. It's mostly "ya la la su-shine, la ma da su-shine" but it's adorable.

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